In the three months since I my last check-in, things have changed. Again. It’s actually been a few weeks since I’ve sewn anything. What happened? I pushed too hard.
Life and death of a business idea
All summer, I had it in my head that I was going to be a professional maker. I would sell quilts and all sorts of handmade home-y gifts. And I was ready to do it, too. I had–still have–fabric and thread and batting and designs and sourcing lists, all ready to go. I had Excel spreadsheets cranking out margins. It was tight, I knew it would be, but I was confident I could make it happen.
One night, though, my parents sat me down. Cornered me, says that defensive, mouse-y voice in the back of my mind. We started talking about my plans and ideas and goals, and the more we talked, the more confident me wanted to go hide in the closet with my pretty fabric. They were throwing around terms like outsourcing and scale, insisting that if my fledgling little business idea was going to sprout into a legitimate, money-making endeavor, I’d have to work within these old, traditional business frameworks to make it happen.
But I didn’t want to do that. I wanted my hands on everything. I didn’t want to give my designs to some cottage industrialist for her to sew. That wasn’t my business. That night–that whole week, actually–I put my nose to the grindstone. I worked as hard as I could, as long as I could, every single day to prove both to my parents and to myself that I could make this work.
I couldn’t. And what’s more, I hated the attempt. I didn’t like that what I’d once enjoyed as a hobby was becoming something I felt I had to keep working on.
So, just as quickly as I got the idea into my head, I popped it. I’ve sewn since then–mostly garments for myself that I adored making–but I’ve happily stepped back from the idea of launching a maker business. Someday, maybe, but someday is not today.
What am I up to now? Man, you guys are going to laugh. I’ve shifted my focus from launching a sewing biz to re-launching my writing business. I’m trying to be much more intentional this time around, attempting not to burn myself out or work myself thin on something that has no merit. We’ll see how that goes, right?
What I’m thinking about now
Over the last few weeks, I’ve been itching to return to Ingenue Diaries to talk about what it’s been like in my head as I rework my path as a professional writer. I really appreciate that in ID, I’ve given myself a space to me honest and to explore in words (the best way I know how) the status of my brain and my emotions and my endeavors. I’m trying really hard to keep this blog low-key. For now, these are the rules I’ll mostly be following around here:
- No branding. I’m working really hard to keep my writing biz branding strong and interesting and uniform. That’s a lot of time and energy. Here, I’m sticking with the illos I’ve been using for ages. I like them. And they’re already uploaded into the backend, so I don’t have to do anything other than pick one out. Really guys, this is about the words (and I’m trying not to stress to hard about those, either).
- Keeping it personal. You might not have noticed, but I find it very easy to make “I” statements. Conversely, I find it difficult and annoying to stop myself from thinking that way, sometimes. So here, I’m generally not going to try. This is about me, myself, and (you guessed it) I.
- Staying on topic. And that topic is me! My crazy brain! You guys should start hoping I get sick sometime this fall, because I’m hysterical on cold medicine. Slightly more seriously, I predict that I’ll be thinking and writing a lot about intention, my day-to-day experiences as an entrepreneur, and how I’m feeling my way through current events. I’m going to try to stay away from ranting about politics, but this is my blog, so, apologies in advance, yo. #Hillary2016
For now, though, I send love and cozy fall thoughts and pumpkin spice wishes to anyone taking the time to read this. I appreciate your eyes and your thoughts and your feelings. If you want to share them with me (not your eyes. That’d be gross), leave me a note in the comments. Unless you want to talk about politics. I’m just going to delete that shiz unless you’re all #HILLARY2016 BABY! Because, again, this is my blog.