Before, I used to think there was an answer to every question. If I asked how many pitches I needed to send out to make a living, someone would know the right number. I believed that there was a right number, a right answer, to every single question I had. Why? Because I was grasping at straws, and it was comforting to know that every experience was comparable and quantifiable on some level. It’s comforting to believe that someone knows how to put the puzzle together.
I am 27 years old, and I just got walloped over the head with the fact that this is just not true. It shouldn’t come as a surprise, because Linda Formichelli and Carol Tice have been trying to ram it into my head on a weekly basis since last August. It was yesterday that I stopped and thought and realized that hey, they’re right. Here’s what they’re right about:
+There is no such thing as one experience. There is no one experience that is intrinsically female or male or millennial or baby boomer. There is no one immigrant experience, no one black experience, no one rich experience or one poor experience. There is no such transcendent universality other than the fact that we are, so far as we know, all human. But there are—hold on, let me Google how many—7.125 billion humans on Earth. That’s a lot of different stories.
+ There is no right answer. And that’s because everyone has different goals, different measures of success, different handicaps and capabilities.
But they’re wrong about one thing, in my one-girl opinion: Talking about what works for us helps. It helps us to see that we are different, and how. Should it be used to model our own systems? Maybe. If your own system isn’t working, pulling processes from this person and that person might help you weasel out what works best for you. The problem comes when you look at one successful person’s daily routine and think to yourself, “I must do that—exactly that—and I will succeed.”
Someone else’s formula for success is not your formula for success. It is not my formula for success. It is one formula for success. And there are so many!
What I’ve been reading this week
+ “I’m not trying to have it all” by Kristy Sammis via DailyWorth
+ “Ask a freelancer: How do I handle these 3 common pitch problems?” by Nicole Deiker via Contently
+ “Fresh Off The Boat star: ‘I don’t need to represent every Asian mom ever” by Nolan Feeney via Time